Military Family Life Tips

 Hello,

I’m feeling a lot better physically over the past couple of days and have some follow ups today. Still emotionally numb and we have a lot of hard conversations in the coming weeks about our vision for our family, but we trust that God has a plan and that it is better than anything we could dream up for ourselves.

That said, I’m going to pivot to the other things in our life and one of those is how we do time apart as a military family.

Every family has to be apart at some point, whether it’s for work trips, family trips, anything. For us it’s just that there is less flexibility on the when and usually less communication for the parent who is gone. We have been fortunate that we’ve done weeks and months apart but not a year or more at a time for which I am grateful. Now that our kids are older, these are some steps we take:

1. We don’t hide it from the kids

We are very open with the boys about what is happening and how long each separation is going to be. Jamie’s OT has also created a special calendar for him that we will be using from some of our shorter times in the coming weeks.

2. We communicate with their teachers

Every time that a parent has something going on, we communicate with their teachers so that there is no surprise and also the teachers are looking out for extra breaks or just a hug needed. We have the best teachers in the world and I am so grateful for them. 

3. We keep routines as similar as possible

All of us benefit from a routine and we try to keep that as much as we can to give predictability when things could easily seem out of control for the boys.

4. We don’t do phone calls right before bed

Talking to the parent who is away can be over stimulating and so we’ve learned that phone calls as we’re trying to get the kids to sleep just don’t work for us. Instead we do this during bath time or on the drive into school if possible. 

5. We give Grace

We trying to spend as much time as possible together when we have it, but we also give Grace if someone is having a rough day. It can be hard for younger kids who just don’t understand yet and the need for control or order is so prevalent, but we hug, we talk, we cuddle, and we love BIG.

That’s all for today!

💛Jess